Greetings! It is always fun to step back during the holidays and reflect upon the past year. Few know this, but in my spare time, I have been working on a unifying theory, as related to the cosmos and life. My yearly "round-up" is an invaluable tool in this highly scientific process. I will have to defend this thesis in about 50-60 years, so constructive criticism is welcome.
"I think more and more that the way you live your life is like a work of art. It's important to do it impeccably, to do it the best you can, and to stay true to yourself." -- Diane Porter Goff (photographer)
THREE SUPPORTING THEORETICAL MODELS
1.) The "Happiness is a Positive Cash Flow" model for short-term behaviour.
While it is not true that money can buy you love (Lennon & McCartney), I have reluctantly come to the conclusion that money can buy qualified measures of happiness. This conclusion is largely supported by the "Hierarchy of Needs" model (Maslow).
In support of this hypothesis, I have found myself to be much happier since I retired the entire balance of my school loans on 22 October. I often smile at children now, and I no longer have the compulsion to steal tips in restaurants. This hypothesis is further supported by a 22 December 1994 experiment in which I paid off every red cent owed to anyone in the whole wide friggin' world.
2.) The "Love You Do" model for long-term behaviour.
Not to be confused with "Love Me Do" (Lennon & McCartney) or "I Love Lucy" (Arnez), the "Love You Do" model suggests that, over a long period, it is important that the mandatory 60-hour work week of the 1990's be spent doing something you love rather than something you do not love. If and when achieved, current theory suggests that the 60-hour week will seem like a 40-hour week rather than an 80-hour week (Pangloss). Love You Do finds substantial support in the Theory of Relativity (Einstein) which deals with basic models of time compression. (Note that this model does not apply to government workers.)
Unable to resist the blatant, almost syrupy idealism upheld in this theory, I travelled to Bloomington, IN in November to work with Brass Theater -- a joint venture between the Star of Indiana Drum & Bugle Corps and the Canadian Brass Quintet. I was applying for a position as PR Coordinator, Publicist, and Writer. The good news is that after working with me for one week in Bloomington and after reviewing all applicants, the director wanted to hire me. The bad news is that the billionaire patron for this venture overruled the process and hired John Cougar Mellencamp's PR Director instead. Sour grapes? Not at all. My foremost concern is that the most qualified candidate be chosen so that this emerging artform can best be promoted*. All hope is not lost as the director may still involve me in 1995 in this groundbreaking collaboration. In the end, this has done more to convince me to be my own patron in the arts than anything else, however.
* This John Cougar guy can't tell a drum corps from a drop cord. I give him three months -- tops -- and then they'll come crawling back to me, begging me to take the position.
3.) The "Personal Downsizing" model for economic viability into the 21st Century.
This model is simple and to the point and copyrighted. Everyone understands the concept of corporate downsizing. This model suggests that downsizing at the individual level will soon be commonplace for every person with a closet, attic, or barn full of "stuff." (Current economic models forecast that the maintenance and growth of such collections will not be viable into the 21st Century.)
In response to concerns about diminished economic potential, I have either sold or given away all possessions except for a loin cloth. It gets a bit breezy on some days, but I am lean and mean and ready for the year 2000. Actually, I have reduced my possessions significantly, but it was more a process of getting rid of "junk" than "stuff." Theories exist which argue the difference between good stuff and bad stuff, but these theories are as complex and controversial as the difference between good cholesterol and bad cholesterol. Suffice it to say that I uphold the most widely accepted definition of good stuff -- "that which is timeless, well-built, aesthetic, functional, and used frequently (J.W. Bobbitt)."
Enough? Okay, lets skip straight to the recap, shall we? 1994 was definitely a good year. We got my dad married off (another one out of the nest), I got my mom to say the numbers "5" and "0" in succession, I travelled to some diverse cities (Boston, Crescent City, Miami, Montreal, Chicago, San Francisco, Denver, Indianapolis, Dallas, New York, and Atlanta,), I attended Tanglewood again (as a spectator), I undertook a number of enjoyable and rewarding artistic projects, I began playing with my brass quintet again, I continued performing with the McLean Orchestra, I was promoted to "senior consultant" with Andersen Consulting, I found I looked younger than a lot of people at my 10-year high school reunion, I made new friends and re-established old ones, I attended several beautiful weddings, and for the first time in my life, I enjoyed the privileges associated with being "the only child" (my brother and sister live out west and my parents live in Virginia). The only tough part of 1994 was the passing of my grandmother on my mother's side, who had been quite ill for a number of years. She is missed.
I hope that 1995 brings you happiness, health, and peace -- the most enduring wish of any holiday season. Thanks for keeping in touch.
David Welch
26 December 1994
Takoma Park - Washington, D.C.
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